22
Feb
11

X or XXX

Just wrote an email to someone and as i got to the salutation i couldn’t decide wether to go with an x or xxx, should i end with love/from/Regards/take care.

When and why has this become an issue? i use to sign everything to my friend with “love john xxx” and every one else “regards john”. however at some point, not a sure when, i started to change this behaviour. it started with mails to my male friends. sometimes they would get a love, sometimes an x or even an xxx and other time they would get none.

Once i had started to change my behaviour i started to wonder why i only thought about this when writing messages to my male friends. after all i personally dont have anything sexual associated with either of these salutations. So obviously i started to obsess about these responses as well. now im at the stage where it can take me upto five minutes to decide what to use and depending on who it is. I can still be thinking about it after the message has been sent, hence this blog.

This whole thing gets very complicated if i actually want to express a sexual intrest. like i said i dont really think of this salutation as sexual i would use it with my mam, my dad, my mates etc….. but at the same time i dont want to come on to strong [drop the love]… however i still need to show im interested [xxx wait that looks a bit strange without the love just one x].

any way would love to here other opinions on this

love john xxx

on a completely separate note how do you ask someone how to spell a word view msn?

10
Dec
10

Men – Where all chicken shit

So today I caught up with some friends that I haven’t seen in some time and after the general talk and a few beers we started to actually talk to each other.  During the night we reminisced about the old times and discussed incidents from our younger years when we didn’t know each other and were somewhat different people.  More drinks were had and more bollocks was spoken.  Eventually I ended up speaking with someone who I have never really had a proper conversation with. Neither of us had drank that much so although we were talking a little bollocks we were still making sense

The conversation I had with him was one of those moments when you realise we are all pretty similar.  We all have the same fears, we all get nervous at similar things so on and so forth.  This is obviously something I’m aware of, however I have always thought that these things are relative but this conversation made me re-evaluate these things.

As said I’m single and have been for some time.  Most of my friends are married or moving towards that end and most of their friends are also taken.  This leaves me in a position where it is somewhat difficult to meat woman, I have never been the type to pull someone in a bar.  The whole idea scares the shit out of me.  I’m happy to talk to anyone and think I generally do a pretty good job but when it comes to “closing the deal” as it where I’m useless.  It just doesn’t happen, in fact it is worse than that when the idea of “closing the deal” enters my head I turn in to some moronic idiot and end up undoing any positive favour I had already won (see here http://johnbond.wordpress.com/2009/03/21/woman-relationships-and-how-to-fuck-it-up/)

This was obviously something I was aware of but to my surprise was something other men suffer from as well.  Early I had been speaking with a friend who explained the same condition.  We both spoke about online dating sites as well as online, well adult friend finder, not sure how to classify that.  We both agreed that we would be pretty much to crap to deal with that shit.  How do you meet someone from the internet in real life when all your meant to do is fuck.  What are you meant to do, make a meal, get her drunk, or just say hi, get naked, fuck and say good bye.  Either way we agreed it seems like a bizarre way to meet people.

So we come back to the point of how to get laid.  Like I said I have met people who I get along with well and I’m pretty sure they have similar feelings and at some point in the night you know that you either have to try and pull them or just “be friends”.  Now here is the problem, most women I know are much more sexually confident then men; however it is us that have to put our neck on the line and take the plunge.  Woman know this, I suspect they know that if they just tried to pull us they would be 100% successful but society calls them a slut if they make that move.  That is so unfair, not to woman but to me!

Anyway this is something that has always run around in my head and I had just accepted it as fact.  I have often wanted to be more confident and I will admit look at men that are considered classily good looking with jealousy, these guys don’t have this problem.  These guys will just walk up to random woman and pull them.  Lucky confident bastards.  That was until today, when the guy I was speaking with in the second paragraph, who is what I would consider one of these classically good looking lucky confident bastard, basically said everything I have said in this post.

This was a revelation for me.  This guy had the exact same anxieties as me, it was uncanny it was as if he was preaching all my paranoia’s.  Anyway I don’t want to go on to much but one thing I would say, no beg, is that if you are a woman and you like a guy then please have the courage of your convictions to tell them because it turns out us guys are all chicken shit!.

 

10
Dec
10

Cheese night

I have, this evening, come to the conclusion that cheese night is not for me.  My night started out leaving work at about 16:30, a friend was leaving work.  This in itself was a bit wired normally you’re a bit sad when a friend leaves but the place they are going to sounds better and they seem happier, so it was a very happy evening.  However the person I was out with has a 2-3 month old baby.  It might be older then that but I think it’s a good estimate.  Anyway they have been out of the habit of drinking and as such was pretty pissed by about …. 16:30.  Impressively he managed to last until about 22:00.

As I noticed people flaking out I mailed some other friends to see if they were out.  We left the pub we were in and a friend suggested we have a … cigarette at my house which was about 20 meters away.  We had a cigarette and my two friends went of on their 30 minute walk to Olies house happy in the knowledge they could get in the hot tub once they arrived at their destination.  As I was alone I decided to get my phone out and fire up FF7 when I noticed I had a text message.  Oh shit yes I had suggested I would meet up with friends, shit.  So I left

I met them at a bar, student bar, im not a critic it sold beer I was happy.  Me and luke spoke FF7 for about half an hour, ignoring all the fit woman who I had never met.   Although I’m pretty sure they were probably quite impressed by the fact that I have less of a life then luke so had therefore managed to play more hours of FF7.

We warned in the pub for long before we set of for a new location.  When we left I didn’t know where we were going if I did I would have probably, tried to choose some were else.   Anyway we were off to poo na na’s “cheese night”.  Now if anyone actually reads this other than Rachel and neil than you won’t know what poo na na’s is.  However the name of the place is pretty much like the response I would have made if given an opinion to go there [“shit! no, no”]  im sure you can imagine the  place. and they had a cheese night, one of those nights that attract the best calibre of people.

Well we were committed so I paid and entered.  It didn’t take long before my friend Luke either looked at me and new I needed to get out for a sec or felt the same way.  Whatever we were outside the club smoking a fag about 10 minutes after entering and neither off us smoke that much.  How bad does a place have to be that it drives you to killing yourself in slow manner.  i.e. this is bad im going to work on my cancer instead.

Whilst outside I discussed some of the aforementioned fit woman with like.  One of them, which I thought I had been paying attention to, was pretty cute and looked like they had a interesting character. However when I described her to Luke I got everything wrong.  I said she was blond! She had black hair, which actually makes more sense because I generally prefer black her.  Luke said she had a whit dress, I wasn’t sure but I didn’t think it was white.  Again Luke was right.

I know I ‘m going on side track here but I can’t work out if this behaviour is wrong.  On the face of it it seems that my thoughts are quite superficial.  How could you fancy someone if you can’t remember what they look like.  I would argue the opposite, that you can have an attraction to someone through their personality without paying attention to aesthetics.  I’ll let the reader decide which camp I fall into.

As we were out smoking we met another patron who had a similar opinion to me and luke on the whole chees thing,  and like me and Luke, she also ended up dancing to the cheese as the night progressed.  Yes I obviously danced, I got drunk and thought “yes , I remember , I’m an awesome dancer especially when its chees”.  Luckily everyone else was in the same mind-set.  This lasted for about 5-7 songs before people gradually started to realise the music was shit and dancing like a fool is only funny/cool for about 5 songs.  After that you actually have to start doing some dancing which most blokes can’t pull off.

I have always wondered about this one.  When you are free and single what is the best dancing way.  On the one hand you can dance all night look like a bit of a twat and get some points for being  on the dance floor all night but loose points for looking like a twat.  Or not dance and lose points for not dancing but you don’t lose points for looking like a twat.  Personally I think you need to dance a bit to show you happy to do that stuff but when backstreets back all right comes on you need to say “im done”

So we sit down, it’s a loud club, I can’t hear anything so just node and act intrested to questions.  I sometimes wonder if that’s what everyone does.  Most people I know seem to do the same, which would suggest that you never get a proper conversation in a club.  Everyone is just talking too them self, that probably makes the guy I mention later sound like the all-knowing monk

So back on track, we sat down and not been able to understand anyone allowed me I decided to par take in one of my preferred past times, people watching.  That’s when it happened.  There had been a few people dancing in front of us.  Hard to tell if people are in the same group or different groups.  Either way there had been a guy dancing near a girl for a couple of songs.  She was in my opinion out of his league and I’m under no allusion out of mine.  I should also mention at this point that this is the same woman that was having a fag with me and Luke earlier.

Anyway he was obviously after here and was waiting for the right song to make his move.  Good thinking, yes? You would think so but for some reason he thought that the best song to make his move was s club seven “don’t stop moving”.  Well you can’t really follow something like that.  There are too many questions, and he seemed to think he was doing well.  Which do be fair he might have been?  The woman who did look a bit taken aback by the fact some guy was singing every single lyric, in perfect timing, to an s club 7 song, was still dancing with him.  Unfortunately I miss how this ended because I got districted

What could distract me from the previous train wreck, well.  It was a guy that came out of left field holding three beers and dancing like he lived for cheese.  At first I had assumed he had some friends because he had three beers (at this point there is only on in hand 2 on the table) but it appeared that he was on his own.   He took up position at that clear bit of space between the dance floor and the people who don’t want to dance.  It is a place that generally attracts nutter’s so I was obviusoly a littler weary.  Anyway he carried on dancing I got distracted for a few minutes and I look back and he had decided to try and encourage people who were walking by that they should also dance.

Eventually, by luck or ignorance (on the to be mentioned party)  he convince some people to dance at the other side of him.  So now you have the main dance floor, then a random guy dancing, followed by a group who had reached the point of drunkenness that they thought all there dance moves were well sexy.  To be fair everyone, including the random guy was at this point.  With all this going one the random guy somehow ended up in a group of people dancing alone.

 

Ok so I originally wrote this blog at three in the morning after leaving the club coming home and first changing my light bulb which had burst earlier in the evening.  With that in mind im not sure what point I was trying to make, I guess I just wanted to get the random night down and affirm that yes cheese is not for me.  Either way this has been sat in my unpublished pile for a while and as im not sure how I was going to end this I thought I would just publish it as is.  Enjoy

 

13
Jul
10

Vending machines

Ok before I start I should say that yes im still in japan and yes I have managed to find myself in a pub.  I have ordered a beer however I have a small amount of fear that they may have served my Free beer.  This is not free like BSD licence more free like GNU i.e. it has no alcohol. Ok that’s  the only geek joke I have made, I couldn’t resist and now I will quit it.  Anyway I think my beer may have no alcohol so I may need to start on the shochu.  How can you tell if beer has no alcohol the only way I can think of is to drink 5 pints and see if im drunk.  However if I drink 5 pints and it is 0 beer I will be well annoyed.

Anyway I have only just started and already I have digressed.  So every time I come to japan someone,  generally my networking colleagues james (cockney) or Chris (Geordie) ask me to get them some girls nickers from a vending machine.  Im sure you have all hear the rumours Japanese people are perverts.  When they are not doing karate, been a ninja, or practicing there Samaria sword play, they like to play with used knickers.  So much so that these knickers are sold in vending machines on every street corner.

So sarcasm aside , I have never seen a vending machine with nickers in it in the entire time I have visited japan.  I have asked both my sister and my brother inlaw about these machines and both have assured me that it is an urban myth.  There is probably only one in japan and more than likely in a soap parlour in shinjinku.  As I don’t currently have an intention to go to a soap parlour I figured just forget about it.  Also I don’t think these people really want used woman’s knickers they are all quite normal people.

So today I walk up in a hotel I barely remember arriving at.  I do remember spending about 30 minutes looking out of the window and admiring the view.  I was on the 10th floor and the Tokyo skyline looked pretty fucking cool, especially so when pissed.  Anyway I awoke had a shower and then realised I didn’t really know where I was.  I had a message from my sister explaining, in a somewhat cryptic manner, how to get back to her house.  However I had other plans.  I wanted to go see Ueno.

I could see a train station from my house so figured that seemed like a good start.  I can’t remember the name of the station and I don’t think it’s that important, it was some were right at the edge of Tokyo, probably on the boarder of Tokyo and Chiba.  Anyway I got to the station and quickly remembered that only the major stations have English maps, so I was a bit unsure of which way to go.  I checked the instructions my sister had sent for getting home (the opposite direction to where I wanted to go) and the first direction was to go to the next stop and transfer.  I assumed the next stop would probably be able to get me to Ueno as well.

The Next stop is also a station I don’t remember the name of.  However it did connect with most other lines.  However there was still the problem that it had no English instructions and as I didn’t know the kanji for Ueno I was pretty much in the same situation.  I stared blankly at the map trying to work out some way to calculate how to get to Ueno.  For some reason this didn’t work so I decided to take a walk around the station for some inspiration.

This didn’t help either; however I did find a terminal for the Tokyo metro and although this map was not in English either they did have a listing of each station and how much a ticket was to the location.  Brilliant I can get a ticket, I still don’t know where to go but I know what ticket to buy.  I buy the ticket and go through the gate.  I go through the ticket booth and all of a sudden things start to get written in English.  The sign to the terminal has all the stations in English.  Like I said I didn’t know where I was.  For all I knew Ueno could have been the next station.  It wasn’t, either way I checked the sign and recognised the name Ginza.  The station name wasn’t Ginza it was ginza-ichome,  either way I figure it is probably close to ginza and ginza is in Tokyo and Ueno is in Tokyo so let’s go there.

So you are probably starting to realise why I sometimes get lost.  My logic isn’t perfect however I do generally end up having fun even if I don’t end up at the expected location.  Either way when I got to the station platform I managed to find a map of all stations, in English.  Seems strange that they didn’t have this useful piece of paper by the ticket machine, when it would have saved my 10-20 minutes of guess work and indecision.  Never mind I have passed the Tokyo metro tourist test and now have my English map and as it happened it seemed that ginza-ichome was exactly where I needed to be.  Win!

I say seemed like because I hadn’t exactly worked out how to read the map.  When I got to ginza-Ichome I realised that it didn’t actually connect with the line I wanted or any other line but its own.  Not to be defeated I decided to leave the station and see what opportunities presented themselves.  At the end of the day I was in or near to ginza and both ginza and ueno are in Tokyo so my plan wasn’t ruined yet.

I left the stations and started walking in the direction I left.  As I didn’t know where I was or how to get where I was going I figured this was as good a plan as any.  It turned out to work out pretty well.  It wasn’t long before I came across Ginza station.   I knew now from the newly acquired metro map that Ueno was on the Ginza line so I was almost there.  I got the train and set of for Ueno.  I just want to say at this point that im pretty sure this was my first time on the Tokyo metro and would like to say I thought it was a much better train then the standard JR line and as it had English maps it is now my preferred Tokyo train service.

Anyway I got to Ueno and there were many things which I had on my list of possible things to visit so I figured if I wonder around aimlessly I would probably find one of them.  Again this tactic seemed to work perfectly and it took me about 1 minute to find Aneme……  A place which my sister had tried to take me too previously, but couldn’t find.  It is basically a mass of corridors with market stalls and small shops.  The type of streets I really like in japan, similar to Osaka.  Either way I would recommend you give it a visit if you ever come to japan.

I got to Ueno at about 10:30 and after finding the market street i just wondered up and down it checking stuff out and doing the general tourist stuff.  I bought some new shoes which I had been meaning to do for about a week.  I was wearing shorts and trainers which meant I either wore socks and looked like a bit of a cock or I wore no socks and got sweaty sticking feet.  Anyway I eventually brought some new shoes.  I was supposed to buy some sandals but somehow managed to get some trainers.  They are a bit ariated and not made of leather so they are much better than my trainers however they are most definitely not sandals.

I should say right now that I decided to go for the shochu.  I wasn’t convinced by the beer and 0 is the same price as none 0, so I have gone for shochu.  I would also like to say that the waitress is pretty hot and very helpful.  She speaks no English and I have spoken enough Japanese for her to realise that I don’t speak Japanese; however she still insisted on asking which shochu I wanted.  Luckily I recognised the word mugiu so all was good.

Back to Ueno, as I was walking down the street I noticed a sex shop and been a… I was going to say single male; however I think I can just say been human I thought I would check it out.  I have been in Japanese DVD shops before and checked out Japanese porn, which I may have mentioned before is not so good.  I have also been denied entry from some type of Japanese only etchy type place.  I think it was some were you just pay to watch porn.

Only in japan would there be a place in the centre of the city catered for people who are too busy to wait until they get home to have a wank (sorry if I have spelt that wrong MS doesn’t seem to have it in there dictionary, which is a little ironic).  It may have also been a soap parlour, I’m really not sure.  It had a big anomie curtain, which to me suggests something quite innocent.   I walked in, in my curiously aimless manner when a Japanese man quickly came out shaking his hand and saying no English only Japanese.  This obviously made me want to see what was there even more.  What type of stuff is so etchy that they don’t allow westerner?  Kotaro wouldn’t tell me!

Anyway I think the point I was coming to was the fact I had never been in a Japanese sex shop so obviously when I saw one I thought I better check it out.   I hadn’t planned on buying presents for people with this visit to japan.  However I didn’t realise I was going to a sex shop so I decided to get presents.

At first I was going to get a windup toy with a dog fucking a woman or a man fucking a sheep until I realised that these products were English.  Not much novelty in that,  there must be something more Japanese  I thought.  I checked it out a bit and it seemed that most of the novelty crap was English.  The Japanese stuff been much more concerned with the practicalities of enjoyment.  In the end I decided to get my friends some “virtual skin mini”.  This is basically a rubber pussy with a picture of a Japanese woman on it.  I figured I could tell them I brought them some Japanese’s pussy.  Yes very juvenile I know but it still made me giggle.

So I bought the pussy then I saw some woman’s nickers.  I couldn’t and still can’t work out weather these were been sold for woman to were or men to enjoy.  Either way they were in a little box the type you might get from a vending machine.  Brilliant I though, I’ll get these for Chris and just tell him they were from a vending machine.

Upon leaving the shop I realised there was an upstairs, there was actually another 4 floors.  One floor which was just woman’s underwear, again not sure if this was for woman or some type of underwear fetish.  One floor of fetish costumes and 2 floors of porn.

It was on one of the floors of porn that I saw it.  At first it looked like a childes toy dispensing machine.  It was filled with round balls which look a little like massive kinder egg toys.  However closer inspection reviled what it actually was.  If you have note already guessed it was a vending machine for woman’s pants.  They exist, I found one, I used one and Chris will be receiving some genuine vending machine panties from this trip.  For those interested it cost 1000 Yen which at the current rate is about £8.  It took a note and the vending machine was one which required you to turn a key to get the … prize.  Just like when you were a kid.

Now you may have detected a little excitement in the previous paragraph.  I would just like to state for the record that i was very excited.  I was told these things didn’t really exist.  I believed that and so gave up my search.  So to find one unexpected in Ueno, a place I was originally going to try and visit museums in was fucking awesome.  It was made even better when I realised that they weren’t just sold in the vending machine.  This shop had different quality used knickers to buy.

There where the vending machine variety which I assume is the cheapest variety.  Then there were the packaged knickers which were in a transparent container.  I guess these were a little more expensive (1700 Yen) because you could see what type of knickers you were buying.  Finally there were the gutchi variety of used woman’s knickers.  These included a picture of the woman wearing the knickers possibly to show how gorgeous they were or possibly to prove they were actually worn.

This last product made me wonder about the previous brands.  People say when you phone a sex line you are just speaking with and old, fat woman.  Perhaps this is the same in the used knicker trade.  If there is not a picture perhaps it is just one woman constantly trying on knickers.  What a strange job? Just put these knickers on were them for … some time.  Is there a perfect time? 1 hour; 1 day; a week.  Should they be sweaty or not?  Have the knickers from the vending machine even been worn or just sprayed with a scent of … woman.  Has the fat old woman now ben demoted from wearing knickers to just spraying them with GM scent? Fuck I’m thinking about this fetish to much I should stop writing and let you consider these things on your own

For the record I do not have a used knicker fetish so please doesn’t send me your knickers.  However  I do now have a pair of fake vending machine knickers which I no longer need so mail me if you want them

13
Jul
10

lost in shinkansen

So It is that time of year again were I visit my sister and somehow manage to find myself in a bar writing about the day.  Considering I have had this blog now for 3+ years it would probably seem to the common observer that stuff only ever happens to me when I’m in japan.  This could be true?  However I suspect it is more likely that when I’m in japan I find myself in a pub with no one else willing or able to listen to my random ramblings and therefore end up writing a blog entry.  I’m not sure maybe I should try writing a blog when I get back home to see if there is anything that I actually have worth saying about the UK.

The other reason I am writing a blog is because my brother (in-law) Kotaro, who is probably my only reader has been hounding me to write another entry.  To be honest I had pretty much given up but for some reason he seems to enjoy them.  So Kotaro if I end up a little worse for were when we meet for fugu in a few hours I will blame you.

Ok so I have just taken a moment to wonder if this will be the cause of me missing out on fugue yet again.  For those that don’t know I have been to japan 4 or 5 times now.  I keep meaning to work out witch it is but I have been saying 4 or 5 times now since I have been here and it now seems a bit strange to try and pin it down.  Anyway each time that I have visited japan I have attempted to eat fugu.  The poisons Japanese fish made famous by, among other things, Homer Simpson.

Now for one reason or another each time I have tried to eat fugu something has gone awry.  I can’t recall what has happened in each incident but the last time is probably the most amusing, at least in retrospect.  As I wrote in my previous entries the last time I was here I visited Hiroshima.   As I wrote that entry while I was in Hiroshima the reader won’t be aware of the issues I had getting back

Before I start I should say that my brother prepared me a very thorough plan.  It had the time, place and activity I should be doing for both days I was in Hiroshima.  The plan, bound in a folder, also contained platform numbers, tram lines, maps and other useful information.  I’m not sure if this level of preparation is a Japanese thing or if my brother is just a little meticulous [anal].  It is more likely that he knows what I’m like and thought that was the best way to stop me getting confused,  in trouble or finding myself stranded on the other side of the country.  I guess he underestimated my powers.

Anyway the first day went pretty well.  The guide was very useful and apart from the odd deviation nothing went to badly wrong.  The second day was a little different.  I had drunk a little bit of shochu the night before and so didn’t make the 8:00am start which had been planned.  As if that was going to ever happen.  This wasn’t a big problem a couple of things were moved around and the odd thing dropped and I got to see the things which were most important.  Things probably hadn’t gone as perfectly as they would have with kotaro but they went pretty much as expected for john.

After this I headed home.  The trip home was a simple shinkansen train journey to Tokyo were my sister and kotaro would meet me at the train.  After which we had planned to go eat Fugu with kotaro’s parents before going for some drinks.  Great plan?

Now before I continue I would like to ask a  question, actually ill just state a fact.  In the UK we do not know what platform a train is going to leave from in advance.  When I say in advance I mean you are lucky to know 30 minutes before the train leaves.  Even then it has the potential to change at any minute just to make things interesting.  So I didn’t even think to check the portfolio prepared by kotaro to see what platform I would be leaving from.  Instead I choose to ask one of the information stewards.  She spoke good English, looked at my ticket and directed me to a platform.  The next train leaving left at exactly the same time as mine and was shinkansen.

Obviously it wasn’t the correct train or I wouldn’t have drawn this out o much.  Anyway I got on the train and continued to look for my reserved seat, only to find an old man sitting in it.  Now this I knew this didn’t happen in japan.  UK yes your seat could a) have been double booked; b) just have someone sitting in it regardless.  I approached the man and in my very bad Japanese tried to explain he was in my seat.  Luckily he spoke pretty good English, looked at my ticked and confusingly agreed that we had both been booked in on the same seat.  He suggested we wait for the ticked inspector and get him to sort it out.

I immediately knew something was wrong so continued to ask question before coming to the all-important question of “does this train go to Tokyo”.  By this time I had attracted a small gaggle of listeners trying to work out what this stupid westerner was doing.  As soon as I mentioned Tokyo there was a faint mummer of “ohh, Tokyo; he’s trying to get to Tokyo; oh no, this isn’t the train to Tokyo”.  My Japanese’s is not that good but that’s what they were saying.  Anyway the old man confirmed I was not going to Tokyo and was in fact traveling in the opposite direction

For people who don’t know what the shinkansen is, it is the fastest (I think) train on the planet.  As it is so fast it has a limited amount of stops, about one an hours.  This meant that my mistake of getting on the wrong train took me about 200 miles away from my original destination.  To make things worse the phone I had had borrowed had run out of batteries and the phone on the train only took cards.  My only option was to wait until I got to my new destination, phone my sister, having exceeded her expectations of how inept I can be when faced with a perfectly organised travel system before finally receiving some assistance.*

Well I got to the station and the next train going back to Tokyo left in 7 minutes.  Not much time to phone my sister (who would then need to phone kotaro) and get advice.  Either way I phoned her and it was decided that the best way forward was to just get on the train and pretend to be a stupid foreigner who got on the wrong train.  Ok so I didn’t need to do much pretending.   I did this and luckily the train inspector found the whole thing rather funny and let me ride the journey back to Tokyo with no extra charge.

I later found out that after my sister spoke with kotaro, he set his entire team of staff to work on getting things sorted for me.  So if I hadn’t jumped on the train I would have had a flight back to Tokyo the next day, a hotel to stay at and some stuff to see while visiting this unexpected place.  It is nice to know you have family that will divert a team, responsible for the president of a multi-million pound organisation, onto the task of fixing a cock up made by their wife’s little brother.  The best thing about that is that the president would have probably condoned kotaro’s actions.  One of the many reasons why I love japan.

Anyway that was a very long way of saying I missed fugu night.

*my sister helped me phrase this sentence correctly

28
Jun
10

Airport Lounge kicks Ass

Wow, note sure if anyone has had the pleasure of flying anything but economy class before.  if not fuck we miss out.  i have had my tickets upgraded to the class above economy but below business.  i think its a class that JAL have made up.  either way its called economy premium.  it doesn’t mean much or at least i didn’t think it did.  however i have been at the airport now for about an hour and i have to say the experience (one which i generally enjoy) has been great .

The first  advantage i got was expedited check-in.  granted i arrived at the airport so early there was no queue.  and i had already checked in on the web.  But if there was a queue i could have gone to the front.  great.  Then the nice woman who checked me in let me know i could make use of the Lounge and mentioned there was a TV.  thats nice i thought.

So i walk into this lounge and there is a buffa rail with some nice food, i look around to see were one might pay.  no were, free food, awesome.  carry on walking wondering if there is a bar in this place.  I can’t see one but what i can see is 4 walls of wine and a shelf of spirits.  underneath the spirits, fridges full of bottoled and caned beer.  free! everything! and help your self.  im gonna be well pissed by the time i get on the plan.  i have already gone straight to the Cognac.

not sure if its worth the extra £1000 it cost but as i didn’t pay for that who cares.  Awesome. I wonder how much i can steal, is it even stealing.  if i put a magnum of champaign in my hand luggage, is it stealing? after all they are giving this stuff away?   one has to wonder what is in the by invite only [first class] room??

update: i stole a 6 pack of hieneken

07
Oct
09

Hiroshima part 2

Ok so as you might have guessed from my essay, I’m in Hiroshima.  You may have also assumed, if you are perceptive, that I would be in the mood to get pissed this evening.  Well if you hadn’t made that observation let me enlighten you I got pissed.

The evening started out going to a restaurant recommended to me by my brother in law.  My brother (Kotaro).  Been an astute, proficient, Japanese man, he made me an entire itinerary for my trip to Hiroshima, including time lines for visiting sites, checking into the hotel and finally going for dinner.  The location for tee(dinner if you are not from the north) was hashon.  It was marked on the map and it did seem a little out of the way but I found it easy enough/eventully.  When I got there I, well I knew this before, realised it was quite a local type of place. So I went in and was motioned to a seat.  The seat seemed to be the furthest distance from any other customer but it also had a good view of the chef so I chose to believe they wanted me to have the full experience.

They asked me what I wanted, I assume, and after my experience in Funabashi I was prepared.  I pulled out a tourist guide and proudly read Okonomiyaki, obviously with perfect pronunciation.  I’m not sure if they do different types of Okonomiyaki but if they do the waiter/chef seemed to be smart enough to just cook the standard.  It took quite a while to cook but they continued to provide me with beer so I was happy.  When the dish finally arrived it was served on the hot plate which it was cooked on… COOL.  I had a spatula and chopsticks to eat t with.  This was my first head fuck.

I know how to eat with chopsticks, I’m quite comfortable with them; however the dish presented was very similar to one I had had in Osaka the previous year.  When eating the Osaka dish I was told that osaka locals just use the spatula, so obviously I just used the spatula.  As the dish I had now been presented in Hiroshima shared similar qualities I figured, same rules applied.  I don’t think this was so bad and it wouldn’t surprise me if Hiroshima locals do the same but when you’re a red head, white skinned, westerner, people just assume you’re ignorant and can’t use chopsticks.  Which I’m pretty sure is what happened.  Not to worry the staff seemed happy and the meal was great.  Upon leaving I was very surprised to see a queue of 20-30 people, almost as surprised as they where to see a westerner coming out of a their back ally local restaurant

Now I was fed it was time for beer.  I’m not sure if anyone has tried to find a pub in Japan before but it is not easy.  They don’t have all the tell tale signs of an English pub.  Loud obnoxious shouting, slappers been sick next to the door, bouncers beating up a goth.  It’s pretty difficult to know what a good pub is. Eventually I see a sign which had a picture, most do I know, of a pub which looked nice. I entered and lo and behold it was my dream pub.  It had about 100 different types of whisky, it didn’t even do beer.  Perfect you might think but it didn’t have anyone in and the bar staff didn’t speak English.  I had a very nice Japanese whisky and the strongest mojito I have ever had, I watched the bar maid make it and I’m sure mojito’s normally have a mixer, this one didn’t.  I left shortly after fearing I may get way too drunk

I wondered the streets aimlessly looking for beer but most places seemed pretty dead.  A couple of tourists did ask me for directions to a restaurant I had obviously never heard of.  Why ask me I’m obviously not going to know.  You surly have a much better chance of finding a local japans person who speaks English then finding a tourist who just so happened to work passed your restaurant and remembered the kanji on the shop front, I ended up back at my hotel so decided I would resign to the position that I was drinking alone, got my laptop and set off.

I wondered past a sign which said “beer” (it may have had more detail but that’s all I saw) I looked in the room and there where people and a bit of noise, noone I could socialise with but enough to fade into the background, that was enough. I sat down and ordered.  Shocho.    After ordering, a barrage of questions emerged, I had expected this however I was still not equipped.  I bought some time by saying Hiroshima shocho.  This started a conversation between the bar maid and the chef.  I thought I was in the clear but then they started to talk to me.  More questions, ok they probably only asked me one, so how did I respond, well I pointed at the chef and said you decide, anything is fine (you’d think I’d learn). He asked me more questions mizu, I know that word “water” win for john, no I don’t want water.  Wait, is he asking if I want a glass of water or water in the shochu? I wouldn’t mind a glass of water it’s like 100 degrees here (I’m ginger and obviously exaggerate) but I definitely don’t want water in my shochu, I say no. After this, more questions which I try to answer by confidently nodding and shaking my head at random times occasionally throwing in the odd hi (yes) and so, so, so (mm yes thats right).  It somehow works, I get a glass with ice and shochu, I have no idea if it is from Hiroshima, but latter discover that it is definitely the strong.  I then continue to write Hiroshima part 1 and again get very depressed.

After writing Hiroshima part one and getting very drunk my battery dies and I eventfully decide I should probably head of home.  For some reason however I convinced myself I could still do with another drink especially as I still have to finish the Hiroshima part 2 (this) blog entry.  I walk into a 24-7, buy some beer and some onigiri (one of my favourite Japanese snacks).  Not knowing how to speak Japanese let alone read it I have to go on the tiny picture on the package in an attempt to guess what’s inside.  I have been caught out by this before I bought a sweet plumb one thinking it was fish.  The pictures aren’t as descriptive as you might expect.  The most surprising thing about that mistake was the plumb stone which almost broke my teeth.  I managed to pick some good ones possibly chicken or pork one of which had teriyaki sauce so I was happy.

At this point I’m going to have to end the article.  Everything excluding last paragraph had been written on the evening I was in Hiroshima.  The only comment I had left myself to finish the article when sober was “200yen midnight snack (rice ball thing)”.  I have a feeling there was a much funnier story to go with that and obviously thought that little piece of information was enough to jog my memory.  I also remember that I was, at that point, too drunk to continue writing. It is therefore no surprise that I don’t remember much more than that.  I finished one out of the six beers I had bought and went to bed.

07
Oct
09

Hiroshima

Ok so Hiroshima.  I had arrogantly though I had considered the horrors of Hiroshima and that a trip there was not going to affect me so much.   This arrogance stayed with me as I got of the shinkansen, left the station the wrong way and continued to walk for an hour aimlessly looking for a tram station which should have been 30 seconds away, should have known the day was not going to go according to plan there and then.   I eventually realised I had gone the wrong way and as I was suppose to leave the station and go left (which I now know to be east) It soon became clear I had been going north west instead of south east.  I retraced my steps and got back to the station.  It’s a good job I wasn’t short of time otherwise that little excursion would have been frustrating :@.

Before realising my mistake I had attempted to ring my sister to ask which direction I should have left the station (north or south), for some reason the maps I had did not have a magnetic reference to gauge this information.  One has to wonder why tourists, the ones most likely to get lost, are given the worst maps possible.  It’s the same everywhere, when a tourist approaches you and asks for directions presenting you a map, with points of interest rendered in 3D and therefore obscuring all the roads.  You just look at them blankly and say, in a strong American accent “im sorry but im not from around here”, heaven forgive you actually admit you can‘t read their map.

When I finally got back on track and found the tram station I made my way to the aptly named A-Bomb building.  This is a building which has been preserved since the A-Bomb hit.  Upon seeing this building I was obviously unnerved however it did reinforce my arrogance.  This was the type of thing I had been expecting.  Following this I made my way to the peace memorial park.  This park is.  I have to stop here because my vocabulary is not strong enough to do this justice, this is true for much of what I will be describing here so please bear this in mind and assume my descriptions are modest.  The park is inspiring, there are many monuments, shrines, trees grass water.   As I said I can’t do it justice you will have to go there.

Within the memorial gardens there is the Hiroshima National Peace Memorial Hall for the Atomic Bomb Victims.  This is where the arrogance stopped.  It is a place of resting for the 140,000 people who lost their lives.  As you walk down the spiral walkway there are descriptions of the travesty and the devastation caused by this bomb.  It explains that 140,000 people were thought to have died; however the true number will never be realise because of the shire magnitude of the destruction.  Everything was destroyed, hospitals, government buildings, town hall(s).  So this figure is only a best guess at the true death toll.  It should also be noted that this death toll is only from the time the bomb hit (august 8th 8:15am Tokyo time) until the end of that year.  The city was thought to have been populated by some 350,000 people the majority of which would latter die from leukaemia, tumours or remain disfigured or disabled from diseases like keloids and cataracts

At the end of this runway was the memorial, a shrine to the dead.  This is a great hall with an artistic rendition of the aftermath as seen from the epicentre of the bomb.  There is not much to se but the odd building and complete destruction.   As I am absorbing this destruction there is an old Japanese couple praying at the fountain in the centre.  I don’t know if they had lost family members or if they are just praying for peace.  Either way it makes one feel very humble and as an agnostic, I wished I could jump off the fence, find something/someone I could prey to and ask this horror never be repeated.

At this point I thought the memorial shrine was done and if truth be told I was grateful; however as I made my way to the exit there was the video room.  I’m not sure if this is what it is called.  There are three 42” screens positioned side by side depicting the stories of survivors.  I entered half way through one story describing how the mass graves which amassed daily.  Bodies were laid down and then fuel pored over them and then touched.  This was not performed by an army who had no contact with the people the where cremating.  This was performed by those able to help restore the city.  They knew the people they where cremating, or at least new them as people of their city.  The harsh truth was it would have been unfeasible to perform funerals for each one of the 140,000 bodies.   A tough choice had to be made and the able where asked to perform the difficult task of enacting it.

Upon hearing the latter half of this story I felt it proper to sit and here more.  The next story I heard was from a medic.  He described trying to treat the injured, and although he did not say, you had the grave feeling that his help acted merely as a placebo or perhaps distraction would be more fitting.  First they used all medical supplies, the majority of which had been vaporise and the rest where used within hours.  After all medical supplies where utilized cooking oil was applied to wounds, after a day when this had gone, medics simply applied cotton wool buds to the wounds taking away rotting flesh with every swap.

The next story was of a young teenage boy looking for his sister.  The story described how he and his family searched for his 12 year old sister for 2 days.  Eventfully they heard she may have been held in one of the schools been used as a hospital.  As they entering the hospital and saw the wounded bodies, mostly naked and groaning with pain, sitting against walls, laying on the bare concrete floor or simply wondering around aimlessly.  He searches for his sister and eventfully finds her, too weak to open her mouth he has to feed her water one drop at a time from his mouth to hers.  Days later they manage to take her home, the whole family providing what help they could in an attempt to nurse the young girl back to health.  We are then told how this innocent young girl died two weeks later; however the writer expresses a touch of pride that his sister managed to survive this long.  The doctor stationed at the school predicted she would be dead within a day.

That was the last story for me, I felt I should stay and here all of them but I realised I did not have the strength to witness so much suffering.   More details were presented in the stories which I have missed, such as wounded people barley managing to walk parading toward the able, naked and bloody, unable to scream from the pain; however much of the day has blurred,  somewhat like a horrible nightmare and some of the finer details are hard to portray .

After the Peace Memorial Hall I visited the Hiroshima Peace Memorial Museum.  I had not wanted to, in all honesty I had seen a pub earlier and the thought of drowning my sorrows in a pint was much more pleasing.  That would have been the easier option but you don’t get many opportunities to see a place like this and reflect on the nature of man.

The museum was very different to the memorial, many more people and less time for thought.  I’m still wondering whether this was a good or a bad thing.  I’ll be honest after the memorial I had not wanted to go to the museum and intended to get through it as fast as possible.  The bustling crowd drowned out my morose train thought and allowed me to concentrate on the subject matter being presented in a more retracted manner.  This was probably good at the time but it does occur to me that the memorial was quite empty and the museum was packed.  This would suggest the experienced in the memorial would not have been shared by most.  That said the museum was very detailed and I think it would be hard for anyone to leave without feeling somewhat despondent.

I chose not to take the voice walkie-talkie thing which is unlike me, I normally want all the information I can absorb.  However I got the feeling that most of the information on the walkie-talkie was also written so I don’t think I lost out so much.  The museum starts off with a history of japans military expansion.  Explaining, without bias, there aggressive warlike tendency at the time.  It is quite refreshing to see a nation admit to their actions.  The history is explained from the early 1800 depicting how Japan got more and more aggressive towards its neighbours.  By 1937 Japan had turned its population and industry into a predominantly military machine.  It describes the attack at pearl harbour (please see here for an interesting article regarding the provocation for this attack http://www.independent.org/newsroom/article.asp?id=1930) and how this lead to war.  The museum then shifts to America explaining why the bomb was originally developed.  The main reason for this was the fear that Germany would harvest the destructive power of the atom first.  A letter from Einstein to hover advocating the development of a nuclear bomb also had a big part to play in this decision.

At this point have to say I was impressed to read the words of Einstein, I’m a fan of physics and he is obviously one of the stars.  In Einstein’s defence he had said ”A single bomb of this type, carried by boat and exploded in a port, might very well destroy the whole port together with some of the surrounding territory”[1].  I don’t think he knew, at that time, how devastating the bomb or his letter would be.  I also concede that the interpretation could be he did know how devastating It could be and still advocated the development.

The next display was perhaps one of the largest displays of (I have been unable to describe the word I wanted here so will have to explain what I mean.  “A decision based on logic with no consideration of the moral cost involved.  pure horrifying precision” )   I have seen.  This was the display depicting why Hiroshima was chosen as a bomb site.  It was not a random choice, the opposite in fact.  Hiroshima, after some time, was shortlisted because it was; populated, an advantageous military target, in a valley and would therefore produce the largest amount of destruction.  Sorry I have to repeat that one; it was in a valley and would therefore produce the largest amount of destruction.  They realised that a valley would reverberate the blast causing maximum destruction and loss of life!

Moving on they had a 3D model before the bomb hit and … well a 2D model of Hiroshima after the bomb hit.  I then went up stairs…  I’m sorry I have sat have for half an hour trying to think of what was there but I can’t.  Perhaps it has merge into the rest of my experience at the museum or possibly I was walking through dazed considering the horrors man can be brought to. It was quieter upstairs so the latter is possible.

I then worked into a souvenir shop and remember thinking “thank good that’s over” then I sore a sign saying “main museum this way ->”, I followed obediently.  The main museum started off with a decrepit wall depicting a street from after the blast.  After this you enter a myriad of rooms (im sorry but he detail will get sparse here as my brain had started to fry, as well as that I’m sat in a pub and have had a few shochu’s) displaying the devastation caused.  There where glass bottles fused together, melted concrete tiles, concrete with glass shards lodged within them, charred clothes,  deformed 6” thick plates, more depictions of before and after, including the aerial photos.

The whole time though the museum displayed an air of education, “this is what happens” … WHY.  It explains nuclear fission, the A-Bomb, The H-Bomb, the effects of radiation on the body, why the bomb was created, how the bomb was created… and more

The last room!  The last room for me was the most horrifying.  This was the room which depicted how we have been since the bomb and how we are now.  Bombs which are in existence now[2] are ~3000 times more powerful then the bombs dropped on Hiroshima (assuming 17Ktons for Hiroshima and 50Mtons for Tsar).  It explains how powers have considered using these bombs in the gulf war and how they are still a consideration in the war on terror.

On a positive note it does go onto state that treaties which have been formed to reduce nuclear arms and to stop countries which don’t already posses the technology from developing (different argument, not now!).  however it is unfortunate that the powers who have nuclear arms are reluctant to give them up and further more have developed much more destructive bombs; more powerful A-boms, the H-Bomb, Neutron bombs, as well as better delivery mechanisms; the tomahawk, cruise missile, multiple independently targetable reentry vehicle (MIRV)It seems that the power nations have not headed the lessons of history and now we have the problem that underdogs; Korea, India, Iran, Iraq are also developing the weapons.  I don’t have any answers but I most certainly believe in the message which Hiroshima and Japan are trying to portray.

End nuclear armament!

[1] http://hypertextbook.com/eworld/einstein.shtml#first

[2] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsar_Bomba (i know its Wikipedia but the figure is probably higher and classified?)

21
Mar
09

woman, relationships and how to fuck it up.

So its been quite a while since I was in a relationship, three years maybe more you loose count after a while .   Now after a while you start to question why.  You consider weather your are unattractive, boring or possibly un-amusing.  Now im generally quite a paranoid guy but I know that im funny, interesting and, well im not exactly ugly. So why?

Well I met someone recently who I got along with well.  We made each other laugh, smile and blush.  Things seemed to be going well.  This was all when I thought the only relationship we would have would be one as friends.  I woke up the next morning and realised that I actually quite fancied (School yard word I know but I think it is probably the best one for the situation) her.  Then the reason for me to stay just friends was removed (another story).  It is at this point that I transformed into someone completely different.

The first thing to happen was for my head exploded with ways to try and make this person like me.  This was quickly followed by a plethora of reasons why she wouldn’t like me, this induced a sense of paranoia and resulted in me going completely silent, which resulted in the beer going down much quicker than normal.  Anything which I did say I analysed from every angle in an attempt to predict what reaction it would have, obviously it never induced the intended reaction and had the result of me responding completely out of character.  When it came to telling jokes it was just embarrassing.  The fact that the beer was going down quicker meant that this all continued but I no longer had the intelligence or wit to make this new guy even remotely interesting

Well somehow this woman gave me her number, pity I suspect.  So this took us to round 2.  Round 2 is when things get worse.  This is when I try to play “the game”.  Im not sure if this is a game everyone plays.  Basically it involves trying to get someone to like you by flirting but at the same time not showing too much interested.  This is where I come into my own at being a social retard.  I caught her online a few times and tried to make small talk; however as I had still not been able to start acting like myself I was quite boring and probably came across a little wired.  As an example of how bad I am at this here is an excert of one of the text messages I sent

“…I dont like not being able to cheer people up but dont have the skill set to do it with a text based median…”

What the fuck, I read it back and I thought the person who wrote it was a prick, god knows what someone who hardly knows me would think.  I mean when would anyone use the phrase “text based median” when trying to impress a member of the opposite sex its more something you would use in a technical document, sexy.

So as you can see this is the reason I dont have a relationship, in actual fact I wonder how I ever managed to get one in the first place.  Hopefully I will learn my lessons from this one.  I may try being honest.  That is after all what woman say they want, however I subject I will find out that being honest is a bigger mind field then “the game”.  But at least it will be me that fucks things up and not this social retard which comes out whenever I like someone.

07
Nov
08

Food in Funabashi

Ok, so if you read my last blog you will know that I am/was in Japan.  Well before I went I thought that I learnt enough Japanese to at least get by.  You know, order food ask for directions and say I have no idea what you’re saying when, well when you have no idea what someone is saying.  How wrong I was.

I have done Tokyo on the various other times that I have been to Japan so today I decided that I would like to give somewhere more local  a try.  Enter funagashi.  When looking for somewhere to go my sister posed a few options but funagashi seemed to stick out, it may have been the beautiful shrine which is there or because she described it as Ecchi.  Who knows? Either way I agreed that it sounded like the type of place I wanted to go so off I went.

I got there about 13:30 and spent about 3 hours wondering the town.  There are lots of back allies with sex DVD shops and apparently some sex hotels (I really need to learn how to read Japanese writing).  The sex DVD shops are pretty immense, there are hundreds if not thousands of porn videos; however there all crap.  Japan, bizarrely for a country one associates with been sexually liberal, has made it illegal to show pubic hair.  Therefore all the good bits have that stupid blur witnesses get when they are on the news.  I hear what you’re saying “shaved isn’t so bad” but the guy isn’t shaved so same story.  Anyway my sister reads this blog so ill stop there.  I’ve lost my thread

Oh yes, walking around.  Like I said I spent a good few hours wondering.  I saw some nice architecture, looked at some crap, spent 1000 Yen (£5) trying to win a hello kitty teddy for my niece (I didn’t) before deciding to go grab a beer.  I ended up getting a beer at about 15:45 and left the bar at about 16:05, seriously I only had one.  My intention was to head home; however it seems that Japanese cities have an entirely different life after 16:00.  Loads more stuff opens; bars, food, pachinko and much more.  So I thought I would stay around a bit longer, get something to eat and maybe another beer.

Well not one to go for chain food and with my arrogance for Japanese, I decided I would try one of the quaint places, down a back alley, one of the ones which only sits about 5 people.  That was my first mistake.  So I go in, luckily there is no one else in the shop.  The ever hospitable hostess offers me a seat and presents the menu.  Oh no!  Up until now I have only ever eaten in Tokyo or, either my sister or brother[-in-law] have been present.  So when I open the menu and all that faces me is kanji I quickly realise I’m in too deep.

Not one to give up so easily I try a bit of my Japanese. literal translation are in [].  ”eigo wakarimasen” [you don't understand English].   There is no literal translation for what I said next.  Basically I had meant to say “do you understand English” but accidently ended my sentence with the wrong thing.  Changing the meaning to a negative.  I tried to adjust by quickly just saying the correct ending “maska”.  This is the ending, or at least ka is, which turns a statement into a question; however on its own means nothing, the only thing which comes close is “masaka”, which means nooo. i.e. I can’t believe it.  So basically I have managed to live up to the British name and be sarcastic in a different language without even knowing it.  “you, don’t understand English, nooo”.

That was the opening.  Ordering was still to come.  The menu was of completely no use, not only was it in a different language but it was in a completely different character set.  Well I’m not a picky eater so I thought let the host choose.  How hard can it be to say anything is fine?  Well if you don’t know the word for anything it turns out that it’s pretty hard.  My best attempt was saying “nani o tabe tai desu, daijoubu” [I would like to eat some food.  It's ok].  As the reader may be able to see where I was coming from but obviously my host had no idea.   I was therefore posed with many questions which I didn’t know the answer too.

Well eventfully after a lot of hand gestures and nonsensical statements my hostess went of to prepare me some food.  I don’t think they understood.   I think they just thought, fuck-it ill just make anything as long as it stops this crazy guy from talking to me.

After a few seconds a bowl of noodles was presented, it looked very nice and was; however it was only about a mouth full worth.  Now after the previous mumblings I wasn’t sure if this was my meal or a taster.  As I mentioned earlier I was the only one in the establishment and it may not have dawned on the reader but as things only open at four, this place was still opening.  So even though the hostess (I need to get another word for that) was preparing food I wasn’t sure if it was my meal or if it was general prep.  I was therefore left with a miniscule portion and the knowledge that Japanese people are small and this may be considered adequate; hell I may have even ordered this.  Either way I thought the best thing to do was to eat the noodles and be happy

So I’m sat in a small local Japanese restaurant with a Korean woman trying to politely, i.e. slowly, eat a tiny portion of noodles not knowing if this is my food or not.  There is a TV on, randomly playing a kids cartoon, I’m not sure why.  I guess that’s a Japanese thing; cartoon, pub, food.   You all know that’s what you do at home so why not in the pub?  All the time I’m trying to work out whether the thing been cooked is for me or not.  My beer is nearly finished so I need to make a decision.  Do I leave, say thank you for the noodles and risk offending this nice lady (I think hostess was better) or should I stick it out order another beer and see what happens.

Well obviously I ordered another beer and it paid off.  Shortly after that my meal arrived, the noodles where just an appetiser.  Had my sister or brother[-in-law] been there I’m sure they would have spotted this straight away.  Well they would have been able to read the menu so I guess the problem wouldn’t have arisen in the first place.  The meal I had ordered was an omelette type thing with squid.  it was very good and without fail as soon as my food arrived and the need to speak English had vanished, a gorgeous looking young woman arrived to work and after a conversation with her colleague, asked in perfect English “so, where are you from”.




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