So today I caught up with some friends that I haven’t seen in some time and after the general talk and a few beers we started to actually talk to each other. During the night we reminisced about the old times and discussed incidents from our younger years when we didn’t know each other and were somewhat different people. More drinks were had and more bollocks was spoken. Eventually I ended up speaking with someone who I have never really had a proper conversation with. Neither of us had drank that much so although we were talking a little bollocks we were still making sense
The conversation I had with him was one of those moments when you realise we are all pretty similar. We all have the same fears, we all get nervous at similar things so on and so forth. This is obviously something I’m aware of, however I have always thought that these things are relative but this conversation made me re-evaluate these things.
As said I’m single and have been for some time. Most of my friends are married or moving towards that end and most of their friends are also taken. This leaves me in a position where it is somewhat difficult to meat woman, I have never been the type to pull someone in a bar. The whole idea scares the shit out of me. I’m happy to talk to anyone and think I generally do a pretty good job but when it comes to “closing the deal” as it where I’m useless. It just doesn’t happen, in fact it is worse than that when the idea of “closing the deal” enters my head I turn in to some moronic idiot and end up undoing any positive favour I had already won (see here http://johnbond.wordpress.com/2009/03/21/woman-relationships-and-how-to-fuck-it-up/)
This was obviously something I was aware of but to my surprise was something other men suffer from as well. Early I had been speaking with a friend who explained the same condition. We both spoke about online dating sites as well as online, well adult friend finder, not sure how to classify that. We both agreed that we would be pretty much to crap to deal with that shit. How do you meet someone from the internet in real life when all your meant to do is fuck. What are you meant to do, make a meal, get her drunk, or just say hi, get naked, fuck and say good bye. Either way we agreed it seems like a bizarre way to meet people.
So we come back to the point of how to get laid. Like I said I have met people who I get along with well and I’m pretty sure they have similar feelings and at some point in the night you know that you either have to try and pull them or just “be friends”. Now here is the problem, most women I know are much more sexually confident then men; however it is us that have to put our neck on the line and take the plunge. Woman know this, I suspect they know that if they just tried to pull us they would be 100% successful but society calls them a slut if they make that move. That is so unfair, not to woman but to me!
Anyway this is something that has always run around in my head and I had just accepted it as fact. I have often wanted to be more confident and I will admit look at men that are considered classily good looking with jealousy, these guys don’t have this problem. These guys will just walk up to random woman and pull them. Lucky confident bastards. That was until today, when the guy I was speaking with in the second paragraph, who is what I would consider one of these classically good looking lucky confident bastard, basically said everything I have said in this post.
This was a revelation for me. This guy had the exact same anxieties as me, it was uncanny it was as if he was preaching all my paranoia’s. Anyway I don’t want to go on to much but one thing I would say, no beg, is that if you are a woman and you like a guy then please have the courage of your convictions to tell them because it turns out us guys are all chicken shit!.
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